Telling a friend that you have been abused is a huge step on the road to recovery because you have trusted and broke the silence and you can now begin to gain some support. It is important to have good friends, often people who have been abuse isolate themselves and don’t socialize, Try and get yourself out and meet people it will do you some good.
IF YOU ARE A FRIEND OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN ABUSED
If you have a friend who tells you that she has been abused, then the first step towards her recovery has been taken. She has chosen a trusted person to confide in. The way you respond to her confidence is very important. You will have
feelings of your own to deal with. You will probably be upset and confused. Because of the emotional stress of listening to what she is telling you, you may feel like crying, or giggling. You may not feel competent to support her in what she is going through, and not know where to turn for information that will help her.
There are some really important, practical things you can do:
Listening
Listen to what your friend has to say. Try not to interrupt her, or ask lots of questions.
Let her tell you at her own pace. Don't worry if she stops talking
Abuse has for too long been a crime that victims feel they cannot talk about. It is good for her to be able to tell somebody she trusts. Because it is you that she has chosen to tell it is important that you respect her trust and not talk about what she has told you with your other friends.
Believing
The way you can help your friend is to believe her. People rarely make up stories about abuse.
Anyway, your friend is probably blaming herself for what has happened. If your friend is disclosing to you that she is a victim of sexual assault in the home (incest), it is important that you encourage her to tell a trusted adult who can do something about it, perhaps a relative, a school counsellor or teacher, or a worker at your local Centre Against Sexual Assault.
Remember that sexual assault is never the fault of the person who has been assaulted. It is always the fault of the person who did the assaulting.
